CAAAARRRRBBBBSSSS....nomnomnom

Hey Kiddos.

Yesterday's training went well. Barf Class was awesome - and somehow I remained full of energy for the entire thing. Only one of the exercises was totally humiliating (walking mountain climber pushing things? I kept falling over because my legs would give out). Yay?


Usually I'm pretty good about not stuffing my face when I get home from working out, but yesterday roommate A had made some pasta, and he foolishly offered me the rest of it. As soon as those carbs hit my lips it was sweet, sweet heaven. I devoured that pasta, oh yes I did, and then proceeded to down a massive bowl full of sticky rice from dinner....from dinner made two weeks ago :( In the haze of my carb lust I paid no attention to best before dates. There was no stopping me. I am not proud. What's interesting though, is that I recognized this pig out as simply being HUNGRY because I worked really hard, and had nothing to do with eating for the sake of eating. If I was eating for taste or the sake of eating or wanting something tasty, I would have devoured the cookies and cupcakes on the table, baked with care by roommate M, but which I have barely touched. No. Instead I freely chose the 2-week-old white rice. Why?

Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about exercise and fitness and happiness. Forever, I have held onto the opinion that if I work really hard, stick to eating good food, get to be as fit as I want, and therefore look how I want, the happiness will follow because I will be hot and awesome and then nothing can stop me. TURNS OUT that's not how it works. When I was slaving away at my previous miserable job before I went traveling, I got to a point where I was eating pretty good meals, and training a lot, but I made a lot of mistakes and it was hard to stick to most of the time. I'd eat really well all day, then come home and "reward" myself with something delicious but bad for me a few times a week. On the weekend all bets were off and I'd eat myself silly, usually downing some sort of greasy pub food a few times. Although it wasn't out of control, I still used food and the concept of "reward" copiously to make up for how miserable, out of control, and belittled I felt in my career. I trained to support my crappy eating habits, rather than training to make my body work better. 

Since I've come home from traveling, and I feel respected and valued in my new position, it's been remarkably easy to do good things for myself. I don't finish the day feeling like I want to punch kittens or just sit and zone out in front of the TV until sleep comes. Food, although clearly still one my greatest pleasures, is not a reward for having endured something terrible. It's enough of a reward to feed my body with good things that make me feel and function better. Working out is something I look forward to, rather than just some more torture I have to put myself through before I can reward myself with a bag of buffalo and blue cheese potato chips (those are delicious). Heartbreak notwithstanding, I'm happier now that I have been in many a-year. And for that reason, I think my fitness goals are going to come a lot easier than I expected.

I've already lost 5 pounds! :)

It is, however, a cruel joke of biology that the boobs are always the first to go, but never the first to be packed on. Mother nature can be so catty sometimes.

Today's workout will be training again with Ms. Muscles followed by some hot yoga. Did I mention Ms. Muscles and I are going to see the nutty bananas tornado of crazy that is the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince - PRINCE - this weekend?!?!? Wicked....we're going to party like its 1999. Except maybe a little differently, because I don't want to party like I'm 14 years old again. There was a lot of bad hair.

PEACE! :)